Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for November

One of our favorite new consciousness websites, RealitySandwich.com, is now featuring excerpts from Rob Brezsny’s Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded. Want to get a taste of Brezsny’s optimistic outlook? CLICK HERE to read “Glory in the Highest, Part One.”

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
November
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): There was a time when wetlands were considered dismal and unproductive. At best they were thought to be a waste of space, and at worst stinky breeding grounds for insect pests. For over 200 years, many marshes, bogs, and swamps were filled with dirt and transformed into places suitable for farms, houses, and recreational areas. But all that has changed in the last 30 years. Science has rehabilitated the reputation of wetlands, showing how crucial they are. They clean toxins from water, help control floods and soil erosion, and are home to more biological diversity than any other ecosystem. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to make a comparable conversion, Aries. Something you once demeaned or underestimated could become an inspirational catalyst.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the coming weeks, you will have the potential to articulate what has never been spoken before and to name truths that everyone has been avoiding. Uncoincidentally, you may also be able to hear what you’ve never been able to hear up until now and tune in to truths you’ve been oblivious to. As you might imagine, Taurus, you must fully activate both of these capacities in order for either to function at its best.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nature’s rhythm is cyclical. Everything alive waxes and wanes. If you’re smart, you honor that flow by periodically letting parts of your world wither or go to sleep. If you’re not so smart, you set yourself up for needless pain by indulging in the delusion that you can enjoy uninterrupted growth. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Gemini, this is your time to explore the creative possibilities of ebbing and slackening. Ask yourself the following question, which I’ve borrowed from the Jungian author Clarissa Pinkola Estes: “What must I allow to die today in order to generate more life tomorrow?”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Pregnant women sometimes have unusual cravings. From the fourth to sixth month of her daughter’s gestation period, for example, my friend Marta was on occasion beset by the longing to eat toothpaste. I’ve known other women who fantasized about nibbling on mud, coffee grounds, and chalk. Fortunately, they all resisted the urge, which is what health practitioners recommend. Instead they tried to figure out if their bodies were trying to tell them about some legitimate deficiency of vitamins or minerals. I offer this to you as a metaphor to keep in mind. As your own special creation ripens, you may experience odd desires. Don’t necessarily take them at face value.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It might be tempting to turn your home into a womb-like sanctuary and explore the mysteries of doing absolutely nothing while clad in your pajamas. And frankly, this might be a good idea. After the risks you’ve taken to reach out to the other side, after the bridges you’ve built in the midst of the storms, after the skirmishes you’ve fought in the Gossip Wars, you have every right to retreat and get your homebody persona humming at a higher vibration. So I say: Be meticulously leisurely as you celebrate the deep pleasures of self-care.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Hey Rob: I was having trouble finishing my novel  — typical writer’s block. So I sidetracked myself into making silly creative projects — papier-mache chickens, masks made out of junk mail, collages incorporating bottle caps and dryer lint. I can’t say any of it is ‘art,’ but I feel creative again and my house is full of colorful stuff I whipped up myself. If you wait to be perfect, I concluded, you’ll never make anything. I tried something I knew I’d be bad at, so failure didn’t matter. Now I’m branching out with my inadequacy — not waiting for Mr. Perfect but having a beer with Joe Flawed, forgetting to be right all the time, admitting that I haven’t a clue. I’ve become smilingly, brilliantly dumb. -Inappropriate Virgo.” Dear Inappropriate: Congrats! You’re doing exactly what I want to advise all Virgos everywhere to try.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): At a yard sale today, I paid a dollar for a stained, pocket-sized horoscope book with many of its pages missing. The reason I made such an odd investment is that it had a forecast for Libra for the first part of November 2009, and this forecast struck me as even more useful than the horoscope I had composed for you. As a public service, I’m providing it here. “The graceful dragonfly lives for just a few months. But a sequoia tree’s time on earth can last 2,000 years. In the same way, some bonds, some creations, some worlds, endure for a mere blink in eternity, while others are destined to outfox the ravages of time. What will be the lifespan of the dream you recently hatched, Libra? It is time to decide and take action.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your anti-role model — the person you should be the opposite of — is the Scorpio warrior, U.S. General George Patton, also known as “Old Blood and Guts.” He once said, “Practically everyone but myself is a pusillanimous son of a bitch.” That’s an attitude you should especially avoid in the coming weeks, since your success will depend on you seeing the best in people — even if they sometimes don’t seem to warrant it. P.S. It may be OK to think of yourself as “Old Blood and Guts” if and only if you dedicate your ferocity to the service of smart love and ingenious collaboration.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Congratulations, Sagittarius! Free Will Astrology’s Task Force on Creative Suffering has confirmed that your current dilemmas are exceptionally interesting and useful. You have demonstrated an impressive talent for getting embroiled in riddles that promise to bring out your dormant reserves of vitality and ingenuity. The dumfounding questions you’ve been wrestling with are high-caliber tests that have drawn you closer to the heart of the reasons you’re here on Earth. Take full advantage of this beautiful mess, my dear. Chaos this fertile is hard to come by.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When Dante was nine years old, long before he became one of Italy’s supreme poets, he fell in love with Beatrice, an eight-year-old girl he met at a May Day party. They never had a close relationship. In the years after their initial encounter, they met infrequently, and both eventually married other people. But Beatrice played a crucial role throughout Dante’s life, although she died at the age of 24. She was not just his muse, but also his “beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation.” Dante even wrote her into his Divine Comedy in the role of a guide. Is there any person or influence in your life equivalent to Beatrice? Any once-upon-a-time blessing that might be ready to give you the fullness of the gifts it has been waiting all this time to deliver?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I would love it if you could find a sword that could cut itself. Or a fire that could burn itself. Or some water you could wash. But even if you can conjure the magic to attract an experience that simply resembles one of those marvelous paradoxes, it would set in motion a series of epiphanies that would liberate you from an inferior paradox — a confusing absurdity that is not worthy of you and that has been draining your life force.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The planets are aligned in such a way that suggests you may be able to experience an orgasm solely by meditating. This rare cosmic alignment also means that it’s conceivable you could generate money or attract new resources by following your holy bliss, or that you might stumble upon the tricky treasure you’ve been looking for in all the wrong places. But I can’t say for sure that you will actually be able to capitalize on any of these remarkable opportunities. It will depend on whether you can more fully express one of the skills that is your birthright as a Pisces: being wild and disciplined at the same time.

Homework: I invite you to launch a crusade to raise the level of well-being everywhere you go. Report results to FreeWillAstrology.com.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

CLICK HERE to subscribe to Rob Brezsny’s newsletter.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for October

Ok, it’s official. Rob Brezsny’s revised and expanded edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings just hit bookstores.

WHAT IS PRONOIA?

DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is our birthright.

PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy to shower all of creation with blessings.

DISCLAIMER: The material in PRONOIA may be too intense and controversial for some readers. It contains graphic scenes of peace, love, joy, passion, reverence, splendor, and understanding. You should therefore proceed with caution if you are a jaded hipster who is suspicious of feeling healthy and happy. Ask yourself: “Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting entertainment might dull my intelligence? If you doubt your ability to handle relaxing breakthroughs, you should stop reading now.

Intrigued? Grab a copy of the book and enjoy! In the meantime, here are Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology” forecasts for the month of October.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
October
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Is the electron a wave or a particle? Physicists had to conduct thousands of experiments to arrive at the definitive answer, which is that it’s both. In other words, the solution to one of the fundamental questions about the nature of reality is a paradox. I think this strongly suggests that the correct response to many other riddles about the ultimate truth might be two seemingly opposing explanations. Could the Unitarians and Buddhists both be right? Socialists and capitalists? Mystics and scientists? In the upcoming days, Aries, you will be offered lots of practice in adopting this approach as you deal with a personal dilemma that’s very much akin to “Is the electron a wave or a particle?”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Have you ever mused on the fact that your body is actually a kind of furnace? And that your whole life depends upon it? Food and oxygen are constantly combusting inside you, generating fiery energy that fuels your every movement, thought, and feeling. This awareness of fire as a source of vitality, not a destroyer, would be valuable for you to cultivate in the coming days. Your steady, earthy rhythm needs a shot of radiance and luminosity and fervor.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Several couples I know keep lists of the five celebrities they’d be allowed to boink if the chance ever presented itself. My friend Jim, for instance, will incur no karmic repercussions with his girlfriend Alicia if he ever spends a night of carnal delight with the following people: Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, Karen O, Shakira, or Halle Berry. Alicia’s permitted to enjoy liaisons with Johnny Depp, Chris Rock, Marilyn Manson, Jimmy Fallon, and Portia de Rossi. I bring this up, Gemini, because I believe you’ll soon be the beneficiary of some extravagant cosmic luck that could offer you a close brush with an exotic form of pleasure. This might not exactly take the form of a one-night stand with a famous fox, but it could be almost as extraordinary.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m happy you’re getting back to fundamentals and shedding pretensions and nourishing your roots, but I also want to make sure that you don’t get too funky and lowdown. I’d hate to have to be hoisting you up out of the gutter next month, or counseling you on how to cover for the fact that you’ve compromised your own highest standards. So please resist any temptations you might feel to descend toward the lowest common denominator, Cancerian. As you deepen your center of gravity, make sure you keep your attitude elevated.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I may not love you,” wrote R. R. Doister, “but I can certainly love my fantasy about you.” Personally, I’ve been guilty of embodying that attitude toward certain people in my life. There have also been allies to whom I could have said, “I do love you, although I love my fantasy about you a little more.” And it has even been the case on numerous occasions that I’ve been proud to declare, “I love you even more than I love my fantasy about you.” What about you, Leo? Where do you stand on the issue? This is an excellent time to get on the righteous side of the great divide, which is to say: Adore your special people for who they really are more than for your fantasies about them.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In a puckish fantasy, the poet Linh Dinh imagined a hypothetical scenario in which it would be uncool to be too cool. “In an effort to inject more pep and resolve into its lethargic citizens,” he waxed with prophetic longing, “the government is mandating the use of an exclamation mark at the end of each sentence, spoken or written. ‘It looks like rain!’ for example, or ‘I must sleep!’” I suggest that you take his vision, Leo, and turn it into reality for the immediate future! You would really benefit from getting more excited than usual! Who knows, maybe a simple thing like imagining every one of your sentences ending with an exclamation mark could make your whole being more thrillable!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Is there a big difference between your current job and your beloved career? Do you suffer from the unsettling feeling that your calling hasn’t called you yet? Are you under the impression that your main reason for being here on Earth may reveal itself at some unknown time in the future, but not anytime soon? If you answered no to all those questions, congrats! You are more than halfway toward living a victorious life. But if you answered yes to at least one question, it’s high time to take action. Start by formulating an intention to find out what you need to know in order to deal with the problem more aggressively. The cosmic forces are arrayed in such a way as to reward you for doing so.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Indian guru known as Amma has hugged over 30 million people during her three-decades career. I’ve known people who’ve received blessings from her, and they tell me that she can magically undo your karmic knots with her spiritual power, freeing you from having to suffer indefinitely for the bad decisions you made in the past. Amma rarely does a complete unraveling of all karmic knots in one sitting, however. Your negative conditioning might be holding you together, after all, and a sudden super-fix could cause you to fall apart. That’s the situation I suspect is true for you right now, Scorpio: You’ll be wise to undo some, but not all, of your karmic knots.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The coming weeks will have something to offend and agitate everyone — except you. Whines and moans and yelps will ring out across the land, even as you’re emanating poise and aplomb. You may be tempted to brazenly exploit everyone’s vulnerability and seize control of your corner of the world, but I think that would be shortsighted of you. A better strategy for capitalizing on your advantage would be to dole out large doses of mercy, making sure that the people who will be important to your future don’t lose their way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The bear must deal with 20 obstacles, and each one of them involves pears,” says the Sufi proverb, “because the bear adores pears.” That’s a twisty truth worth meditating on, Capricorn. I suspect that the gifts coming your way will bring their own unique problems; the dreams you’re in love with will generate new dilemmas to solve. By no means does this imply that you should avoid accepting the gifts or pursuing your dreams. Part of the fun of doing great things is dealing with the changes they generate!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On behalf of all us non-Aquarians, I’d like to express our appreciation for the experiments you’ve been performing. Please don’t be discouraged just because the results thus far have been inconclusive and left you feeling a trifle rudderless. We feel confident that sooner or later you’ll come up with discoveries that will have bottom-line value to both you and the rest of us. We’d also like to apologize for the shortsighted and timid types among us who are accusing you of being unrealistic or overly optimistic. Please keep trying those novel approaches and making those imaginative forays.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): While reviewing the work of Angelina Jolie in the film Taking Lives, A. O. Scott called her “the flesh-and-blood actress most likely to be mistaken for a computer-generated special effect.” I don’t expect you to rival Jolie’s odd talent anytime soon, but I wonder if maybe you’ll be seeing a lot of that kind of stuff in the world around you. Some of the characters who will be advancing the plotlines in your life story may seem to be able to breathe fire, walk through walls, or change the weather at will. At the very least, you’ll witness phenomena that resemble optical illusions. My advice: Try to get these exotic outbreaks to work for you rather than against you. Embrace them, don’t fear them.

Homework: Are you doing anything in particular to kill the apocalypse and usher in the Great Awakening? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

CLICK HERE to subscribe to Rob Brezsny’s newsletter.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for September

“I dig Rob Brezsny for his powerful yet playful insights, his poetry, and his humor . . . I salute him for his dedication to inspiration.”
—Jason Mraz, singer-songwriter

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
September
© Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What I wish for you in the coming weeks is that you won’t be satisfied with mediocre truths; that you’ll be a fussy perfectionist focused on cutting out waste, fraud, and delusion; that you’ll be itchy to know more about the unacknowledged games that are being played. Frustration, I hope, will be your holy fuel. Unsweetened lemonade, I trust, will be your rejuvenating drink. These are blessings, Aries, not curses! I pray that you’ll pick one of your scabs until it bleeds so the healing process can start over — the right way this time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What have you always wanted to yell from the pinnacle of the hill in the distance? This is the time to go there and yell it. What is that safe way of getting high that you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time for before? This is the time to try it. What is the alluring phenomenon that is always going on just outside the reach of your ordinary awareness — the seductive pull you have always somehow resisted? This is the time to dive in and explore it. (Thanks to John Averill for his inspiration in composing this horoscope. His tweets are at twitter.com/wiremesa.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because of an incident involving an apple, right? Wrong. Many biblical scholars suspect the fruit in question was either a fig, grape, or pomegranate. I mention this, Gemini, because I think you’d be wise to review your own personal myth of exile. It’s time to question the story you have been telling yourself about how your paradise got lost. Evidence you discover in the coming days just might suggest that everything you’ve believed is at least half-wrong — that your origins are different from what you imagine. And as for the forbidden fruit that supposedly led you astray: You may realize that it was actually a precious medicine.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The coming weeks will be prime time to perform minor miracles without trying too hard. You’ll probably have maximum success if you refrain from hoping and worrying about achieving maximum success. The cosmic currents will be likely to bend and shape themselves to accommodate your deeper needs if you proceed on the assumption that they know, better than your little ego does, what’s best for you. To get yourself in the proper frame of mind to do challenging tasks without expending strenuous effort, you might want to check out this photo spread of people practicing drunk yoga: tinyurl.com/n5z533.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Are you familiar with the phenomenon known as a fire whirl? It happens on rare occasions when a fire produces a tornado-like vortex that rises up vertically, spinning madly. It’s beautiful to behold but is not something you ever want to be close to. I bring this to your attention in the hope that you will not let yourself turn into the human equivalent of a fire whirl in the coming weeks. You’re not yet close to being one, but there are signs you’re headed that way. With just a modicum of adjustment, you can ensure that you’ll be more like a blaze in a fireplace or a wild but controlled bonfire on a beach — not a fire whirl.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I was listening to a sports talk show on the radio. The host had recently discovered Twitter, and was pleased with how many fans he had already accumulated. But he was not at all happy with the words “Twitter” or “tweet.” Too effeminate, he said. Not macho enough for a he-man like himself to use comfortably. In fact, he promised that he would never again refer to his Twitter messages as “tweets,” but would hereafter call them “spurts.” Instead of “Twitter,” he would say “Twister.” I encourage you to draw inspiration from his example, Virgo. You’re in an astrological phase when you can and should reconfigure anything that doesn’t suit your needs or accommodate your spirit, whether it’s the language you use, the environments you hang out in, or the processes you’re working on.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Years ago, a TV sitcom called The Andy Griffith Show ran for seven seasons on CBS. Its star, Andy Griffith, played a mild-mannered sheriff in a small town in North Carolina. His sidekick was Barney Fife, a bumbling deputy with a sweet disposition. Shortly after he left the show, Griffith had a dream in which he thrashed and pummeled his co-star. When he asked his psychiatrist about the meaning of this dream violence, the shrink speculated that he was trying to kill off his old image. I recommend that exact strategy to you now, Libra. Don’t actually wreak any real-life mayhem. Rather, see if you can have a dream or two in which you destroy a symbol of the life you’re ready to leave behind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What life will you be living at noon on September 1, 2014? Who will you be? How thoroughly will your dreams have come true? What kind of beauty and truth and love and justice will you be serving? Will you look back at the time between September 1 and September 21, 2009 and sigh, “If only I had initiated my Five Year Master Plan at that ripe astrological moment”? Or on September 1, 2014 will you instead be able to crow, “I can truly say that in these past five years I have become the president of my own life”?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his book From Heaven to Earth: Spiritual Living in a Market-Oriented World, Aaron Zerah riffs on the Hebrew word “nabal.” It describes someone who’s so staunchly concentrated on practical concerns that he becomes impractical. Please don’t let this be your fate anytime soon, Capricorn. For the ultimate benefit of the bottom line, disregard the bottom line for a while. Fantasize like a teenage poet. Be as whimsical as a mystic clown. Be a sweet, fun-loving fool so you won’t turn into a sour, workaholic fool.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A woman living in China’s Jilin province got married in a wedding gown with a train that was 1.4 miles long. Lin Rong’s dress was decorated with 9,999 red silk roses and took three months to sew. In the spirit of her record-breaking ritual, Aquarius I encourage you to be extravagant and imaginative as you celebrate a great union in the coming weeks. You have an astrological mandate to think big as you carry out a rite of passage that will lead to an upgrade in the role that collaboration and symbiosis play in your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a meadow as rain falls. Inhale the aroma of the earth as the ground is soaked. Dwell in the midst of that scent for a while, allowing it to permeate your organs and nerves. Feel its life-giving energy circulating through you. Give yourself to the memories it evokes. In my astrological opinion, experiences like this are what you need most in the coming weeks. Can you think of some others that would speak directly to your animal intelligence? It’s a perfect time to please and excite the part of you that is a soft, warm creature.

Homework: Make up a story about an adventure you might go on someday. Imagine all the details. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

CLICK HERE to subscribe to Rob Brezsny’s newsletter.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded (available September 22).

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for August

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
August
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you a gelatinous pool of longing yet? Are you a perfumed garden of madly blooming purple explosions? Are you throbbing and gooey and half-nauseous with that delicious sickness some people called love? If not, I don’t know what to tell you. By all astrological reckoning your gut should be swarming with drunk butterflies and the clouds should be taking on the shapes of mating horses. If you’re not half-drowning in these symptoms, I implore you to find a way to pry open the floodgates.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re primed to cancel a jinx in the coming days, Taurus. You could help someone (maybe even yourself) escape a bewitchment, and you might be able to soothe a wound that has been festering for a long time. In fact, I’m playing with the fantasy that you are now the living embodiment of a lucky charm. At no other time in recent memory have you had so much power to reverse the effects of perverse karma, bad habits, and just plain negative vibes. Your hands and eyes are charged with good medicine. Other parts of you are, too, which means sexual healing could be in the works. But as you embark on your mission to cure everyone you love, remember the first law of the soul doctor: “Physician, heal thyself.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Norwegians used to have a concept called svoermere, which meant something sweetly futile or deliciously unprofitable. While I can see the appeal that your particular version of svoermere has had for you, Gemini, I think it’s time to think about moving on. According to my reading of the omens, you have both a right and a duty to seek out more constructive pleasures that not only make you feel really good but also serve your long-term goals.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s Freedom from Want Month! For Cancerians only! During this uncanny grace period, you might actually feel perfectly contented. It’s quite possible that you’ll be free from the obsession to acquire more security, more love, more proof of your greatness, more chotchkes, more everything. You may even make the shocking discovery that you don’t need nearly as much as you thought you did in order to be happy; that maybe you have a lot to learn about getting more out of what you already have.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Would you like to spend the next 30 years working your assets off to make your bosses rich? If not, I suggest you start formulating Plan B immediately. The astrological time is not exactly ripe to extricate yourself from the wicked game, but it’s ripe to begin scheming and dreaming about how to extricate yourself. Here’s a tip to get you in the mood. Assume that there’s some validity in the meme that mythologist Joseph Campbell articulated: “Follow your bliss and the money will come.” Then ask yourself, “Do I even know what my bliss is? Not my mild joy or diversionary fun but my unadulterated bliss?” Once you know that, you can follow it. And then, inevitably — although it may take a while — the money will follow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As the season of riddles and paradoxes kicks into high gear, I present you with a two-part quiz. Question 1: Since it has taken you your whole life to become the person you are today, is it reasonable to expect that you can transform yourself in a flash? Question 2: On the other hand, since you are more creative than you give yourself credit for, and are also in an astrological phase when your ability to change is greater than usual, is it reasonable to assume that you must remain utterly stuck in your old ways of doing things?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): So much to say and do. So little time. Is it OK if I pepper you with pithy hints? It’s the only way to fit everything in. Here goes. There’s strength in numbers, Libra. So travel in packs. Round up support and whip up group fervor. Always say “we,” not “I.” Add at least one new friend and bolster at least one old friendship. Think before you act, but always act instead of watching from afar. Avoid doing stupid things in smart ways. To court good luck, do charity work. To ensure that extra favors will come your way later this year, do extra favors now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Biblical book of Isaiah prophesies a future time of undreamed-of harmony and cooperation. “The wolf will romp with the lamb,” reads one translation. “Cow and bear will graze in the same pasture, their calves and cubs will grow up together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.” I have it on good astrological authority that you’re now eligible for a preview of this paradisiacal state. To receive your free introductory offer, you need only meet one condition. You must vow not to harm any living thing — not even a cockroach. Not even the person you love best.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You Sagittarians are famous for filling your cups too full. Sometimes this is cute. Sometimes it’s a problem for those who don’t like Cabernet Sauvignon sloshed on their handwoven Persian rugs. This month, however, I predict there will be little or no hell to pay for overflowing. So go ahead and transcend your containers, you beautiful exaggerators. Feel free to express yourself like a fire hose. Now enjoy a few gems from your fellow Sagittarius, the extravagant poet and painter William Blake. 1. “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” 2. “Exuberance is beauty.” 3. “The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.” 4. “You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Constant vigilance, my friend. That’s what I advise. Be attentive to details you sometimes gloss over. Wake up a little earlier and prepare for each encounter with greater forethought. Stare a little harder into the hearts of all those whose hidden motivations might detour your destiny. Monitor every communication for hints that all is not as it seems. Most importantly, guard against the possibility that you may be overlooking a gift or blessing that’s being offered to you in an indirect way.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are,” suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone or getting in the groove or being aligned with the great cosmic flow. How would you go about being the opposite of who you are, Aquarius? According to my reading of the omens, that will be an excellent question for you to muse about in the coming weeks. As you stretch yourself to embody the secret and previously unknown parts of you, I think you’ll be pleased with how much more thoroughly that allows you to be in sync with the rhythms of life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Internet addiction has risen to epidemic proportions in China. In early 2009, psychologists in Shandong province began offering an alleged cure that involved the use of electro-shock therapy. Parents of 3,000 young people paid Dr. Yang Yongxin and his team over $800 a month to hook their anesthetized teens up to machines that sent electricity through their brains to induce artificial seizures. After four months, the Chinese government intervened and halted the treatment, noting that there was no evidence it worked. This practice might sound comically barbaric to you, but I think it has a certain resemblance to the way you have been dealing with your own flaws and excesses: with inordinate force. In the coming weeks, I really think it’s important not to punish yourself for any reason, Pisces, even if it’s in a supposedly good cause. The lesson of the Chinese experiment is: not only is it overkill, it also doesn’t even have the desired effect.

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Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for July

I recently stumbled upon an article that stated, “[Rob Brezsny] has successfully changed the horoscope writing style from dry, banal to more creative and narrative driven.” I couldn’t agree more! Read on and see for yourself. Can you glean any truth from your Free Will Astrology forecast for July?

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
July
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Time to diversify your energy sources, Aries. It’s as if you’ve grown too dependent on oil — metaphorically speaking — and have neglected to develop relationships with wind turbines, solar panels, natural gas, and other mans of generating power. What if in the future — metaphorically speaking — oil becomes scarcer or wildly expensive? And what if, over the long haul, its byproducts degrade your environment? I suggest you start now to expand the variety of fuels you tap into. It’s a perfect moment to adjust your plans for your long-term energy needs.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your mirror may lie to you. A friend might neglect to share a crucial detail. Even pets and heroes and normally reliable suppliers might not be completely there for you. Fortunately, I expect that secondary sources will come through. Other people’s mirrors may reveal a clue you haven’t been able to find in your own. An acquaintance could step forward and do a convincing impersonation of a friend. And a previously overlooked or unknown connection might become your own personal wellspring. Moral of the story: If you’re willing to be flexible and forswear all impulses to blame, you won’t be deprived of what you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Having discovered I can read the minds of animals, I’ve started a new sideline as a ghostwriter. Here’s an excerpt from an interview I did with Prestige, a potbellied pig born under the sign of Gemini. Brezsny: What do you like best about being a potbellied pig? Prestige: I’m greedy but cute. I get to eat like a pig, yet not be victimized by the negative judgments people usually project onto pigs. Brezsny: Is there anything you’re worried about? Prestige: I need to make my caretaker understand that for the next few weeks we Geminis will need more than the usual amounts of food, love, presents, praise, attention, everything. Brezsny: Anything you’d like to say to my Gemini readers? Prestige: Don’t let anybody make you feel guilty for wanting what you want.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The ancient Chinese sage Lao Tse said, “People of the highest caliber, upon hearing about Taoism, follow it and practice it immediately. People of average caliber, hearing about Taoism, reflect for a while and then experiment. People of the lowest caliber, hearing about Taoism, let out a big laugh.” Now substitute the words “your splashy new ideas” for “Taoism” in Lao Tse’s quote and you’ll have your horoscope for this month, Cancerian. For added punch, remember what he said in another context: “No idea can be considered valuable until a thousand people have laughed at it.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Nietzsche’s dictum might be useful for you to keep in mind right now, Leo: “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.” Since I’m very sure that the turbulent waters through which you’re navigating will not kill you, I’m looking forward to all the ways this journey will upgrade your confidence and enhance your power. But there’s more to be gained, beyond what Nietzsche formulated. It’s also true that if it doesn’t kill you (which it won’t), it will make you wilder and kinder and smarter and more beautiful.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meet a dark, secretive stranger who’ll play you like a violin. Nor will you be lured to the warehouse district after midnight to pick up the “missing stuff.” And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cult that’s conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012. No, Virgo. Your fate is far more mundane than that. In fact, it’s more likely that you will soon meet a bright, forthright stranger who will play you like an accordion. You will be drawn to a convenient location at midday to pick up the “missing stuff.” And you will be invited to become part of a group that has the potential to play a significant role in your quest for meaning in the coming years.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For years, I’ve remembered most of my dreams every night, so I’m good at spotting trends. And one of the themes that has arisen recently involves you Libras. Last week, I dreamed that three of my Libra friends were pole vaulting at the Olympics. Four nights ago, I dreamed that my two favorite Libran astrologers were rappelling up a skyscraper. Last night, I dreamed that four Libran celebrities — Mahatma Gandhi, Gwen Stefani, Sacha Baron Cohen (a.k.a. Borat), and Kate Winslet — climbed a gold ladder to a cafe on a cloud where they drank magic coffee that made wings sprout on their backs. So what’s going on? Is my subconscious telling me that it’s prime time for you to raise your expectations and upgrade your goals? Do my dreams mean you should rise above the conventional wisdom and rededicate yourself to your loftiest ambitions? What do you think?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Spiritual epiphany alert! Uncanny revelations imminent! Hope you don’t mind being awoken in the middle of your regularly scheduled life by a special delivery from the Great Beyond. Yes, my cute little bundle of rumbling feelings and psychic sensitivities: It doesn’t matter if you’re a true believer or an unrepentant infidel — you will soon be invited to have one of your logical certainties torn out by the roots and replaced with a throbbing vision of cosmic whoopee. Brace yourself for the most pungent fun you’ve had since your last mudwrestle with the angel.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): While appearing on the TV show “I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here,” ex-pro basketball player John Salley gave some advice I’d like to pass along. “When you see crazy coming your way,” he philosophized, “you should cross the street.” I do think crazy will be headed in your direction sometime soon, Sagittarius, and the best response you can make is to avoid it altogether, preferably in a way that it doesn’t notice you. That’s right: Don’t shout at crazy, don’t bolt away ostentatiously, and certainly don’t run up and give crazy a big hug. There are far better ways for you to gather in your fair share of intriguing mystery; I’d hate to see you get bogged down in a useless, inferior version of it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Everyone wants an extra piece of you these days, and they don’t necessarily care about how it will affect you. So beware of emotional manipulation, subliminal seduction, and the temptation to believe in impossible promises. To make matters more extreme, I suspect you may be secretly pleased that everyone wants an extra piece of you — and might be tempted to conspire in your own dismantling. Let me propose a compromise. How about letting three trustworthy people — no more — take an extra piece of you? And be very certain that they have enough self-control to know when to stop taking.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re almost never one brick short of a load. Know what I’m saying? Your elevator almost always goes all the way to the top floor. Rarely, if ever, do I have to warn you against playing with a deck of 51 cards. So I hope you don’t be offended when I say that it’s time to find that missing brick and service your elevator and buy a new deck. In other words, you’re due for your 40,000 mile check-up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): magic  (ma’ jik), n. 1. A mysterious event or process that seemingly refutes the known laws of science. 2. A willed transformation of one’s own state of mind. 3. A surprising triumph that exceeds all expectations. 4. Something that works, though no one understands why. 5. The impossible becoming possible. 6. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” (Arthur C. Clarke.) 7. A quality predominant in the lives of Pisceans during the period July 1 through July 20, 2009.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

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CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia.