Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for September

“I dig Rob Brezsny for his powerful yet playful insights, his poetry, and his humor . . . I salute him for his dedication to inspiration.”
—Jason Mraz, singer-songwriter

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
September
© Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What I wish for you in the coming weeks is that you won’t be satisfied with mediocre truths; that you’ll be a fussy perfectionist focused on cutting out waste, fraud, and delusion; that you’ll be itchy to know more about the unacknowledged games that are being played. Frustration, I hope, will be your holy fuel. Unsweetened lemonade, I trust, will be your rejuvenating drink. These are blessings, Aries, not curses! I pray that you’ll pick one of your scabs until it bleeds so the healing process can start over — the right way this time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What have you always wanted to yell from the pinnacle of the hill in the distance? This is the time to go there and yell it. What is that safe way of getting high that you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time for before? This is the time to try it. What is the alluring phenomenon that is always going on just outside the reach of your ordinary awareness — the seductive pull you have always somehow resisted? This is the time to dive in and explore it. (Thanks to John Averill for his inspiration in composing this horoscope. His tweets are at twitter.com/wiremesa.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because of an incident involving an apple, right? Wrong. Many biblical scholars suspect the fruit in question was either a fig, grape, or pomegranate. I mention this, Gemini, because I think you’d be wise to review your own personal myth of exile. It’s time to question the story you have been telling yourself about how your paradise got lost. Evidence you discover in the coming days just might suggest that everything you’ve believed is at least half-wrong — that your origins are different from what you imagine. And as for the forbidden fruit that supposedly led you astray: You may realize that it was actually a precious medicine.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The coming weeks will be prime time to perform minor miracles without trying too hard. You’ll probably have maximum success if you refrain from hoping and worrying about achieving maximum success. The cosmic currents will be likely to bend and shape themselves to accommodate your deeper needs if you proceed on the assumption that they know, better than your little ego does, what’s best for you. To get yourself in the proper frame of mind to do challenging tasks without expending strenuous effort, you might want to check out this photo spread of people practicing drunk yoga: tinyurl.com/n5z533.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Are you familiar with the phenomenon known as a fire whirl? It happens on rare occasions when a fire produces a tornado-like vortex that rises up vertically, spinning madly. It’s beautiful to behold but is not something you ever want to be close to. I bring this to your attention in the hope that you will not let yourself turn into the human equivalent of a fire whirl in the coming weeks. You’re not yet close to being one, but there are signs you’re headed that way. With just a modicum of adjustment, you can ensure that you’ll be more like a blaze in a fireplace or a wild but controlled bonfire on a beach — not a fire whirl.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I was listening to a sports talk show on the radio. The host had recently discovered Twitter, and was pleased with how many fans he had already accumulated. But he was not at all happy with the words “Twitter” or “tweet.” Too effeminate, he said. Not macho enough for a he-man like himself to use comfortably. In fact, he promised that he would never again refer to his Twitter messages as “tweets,” but would hereafter call them “spurts.” Instead of “Twitter,” he would say “Twister.” I encourage you to draw inspiration from his example, Virgo. You’re in an astrological phase when you can and should reconfigure anything that doesn’t suit your needs or accommodate your spirit, whether it’s the language you use, the environments you hang out in, or the processes you’re working on.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Years ago, a TV sitcom called The Andy Griffith Show ran for seven seasons on CBS. Its star, Andy Griffith, played a mild-mannered sheriff in a small town in North Carolina. His sidekick was Barney Fife, a bumbling deputy with a sweet disposition. Shortly after he left the show, Griffith had a dream in which he thrashed and pummeled his co-star. When he asked his psychiatrist about the meaning of this dream violence, the shrink speculated that he was trying to kill off his old image. I recommend that exact strategy to you now, Libra. Don’t actually wreak any real-life mayhem. Rather, see if you can have a dream or two in which you destroy a symbol of the life you’re ready to leave behind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What life will you be living at noon on September 1, 2014? Who will you be? How thoroughly will your dreams have come true? What kind of beauty and truth and love and justice will you be serving? Will you look back at the time between September 1 and September 21, 2009 and sigh, “If only I had initiated my Five Year Master Plan at that ripe astrological moment”? Or on September 1, 2014 will you instead be able to crow, “I can truly say that in these past five years I have become the president of my own life”?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his book From Heaven to Earth: Spiritual Living in a Market-Oriented World, Aaron Zerah riffs on the Hebrew word “nabal.” It describes someone who’s so staunchly concentrated on practical concerns that he becomes impractical. Please don’t let this be your fate anytime soon, Capricorn. For the ultimate benefit of the bottom line, disregard the bottom line for a while. Fantasize like a teenage poet. Be as whimsical as a mystic clown. Be a sweet, fun-loving fool so you won’t turn into a sour, workaholic fool.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A woman living in China’s Jilin province got married in a wedding gown with a train that was 1.4 miles long. Lin Rong’s dress was decorated with 9,999 red silk roses and took three months to sew. In the spirit of her record-breaking ritual, Aquarius I encourage you to be extravagant and imaginative as you celebrate a great union in the coming weeks. You have an astrological mandate to think big as you carry out a rite of passage that will lead to an upgrade in the role that collaboration and symbiosis play in your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a meadow as rain falls. Inhale the aroma of the earth as the ground is soaked. Dwell in the midst of that scent for a while, allowing it to permeate your organs and nerves. Feel its life-giving energy circulating through you. Give yourself to the memories it evokes. In my astrological opinion, experiences like this are what you need most in the coming weeks. Can you think of some others that would speak directly to your animal intelligence? It’s a perfect time to please and excite the part of you that is a soft, warm creature.

Homework: Make up a story about an adventure you might go on someday. Imagine all the details. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

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CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded (available September 22).

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for August

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
August
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you a gelatinous pool of longing yet? Are you a perfumed garden of madly blooming purple explosions? Are you throbbing and gooey and half-nauseous with that delicious sickness some people called love? If not, I don’t know what to tell you. By all astrological reckoning your gut should be swarming with drunk butterflies and the clouds should be taking on the shapes of mating horses. If you’re not half-drowning in these symptoms, I implore you to find a way to pry open the floodgates.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re primed to cancel a jinx in the coming days, Taurus. You could help someone (maybe even yourself) escape a bewitchment, and you might be able to soothe a wound that has been festering for a long time. In fact, I’m playing with the fantasy that you are now the living embodiment of a lucky charm. At no other time in recent memory have you had so much power to reverse the effects of perverse karma, bad habits, and just plain negative vibes. Your hands and eyes are charged with good medicine. Other parts of you are, too, which means sexual healing could be in the works. But as you embark on your mission to cure everyone you love, remember the first law of the soul doctor: “Physician, heal thyself.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Norwegians used to have a concept called svoermere, which meant something sweetly futile or deliciously unprofitable. While I can see the appeal that your particular version of svoermere has had for you, Gemini, I think it’s time to think about moving on. According to my reading of the omens, you have both a right and a duty to seek out more constructive pleasures that not only make you feel really good but also serve your long-term goals.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s Freedom from Want Month! For Cancerians only! During this uncanny grace period, you might actually feel perfectly contented. It’s quite possible that you’ll be free from the obsession to acquire more security, more love, more proof of your greatness, more chotchkes, more everything. You may even make the shocking discovery that you don’t need nearly as much as you thought you did in order to be happy; that maybe you have a lot to learn about getting more out of what you already have.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Would you like to spend the next 30 years working your assets off to make your bosses rich? If not, I suggest you start formulating Plan B immediately. The astrological time is not exactly ripe to extricate yourself from the wicked game, but it’s ripe to begin scheming and dreaming about how to extricate yourself. Here’s a tip to get you in the mood. Assume that there’s some validity in the meme that mythologist Joseph Campbell articulated: “Follow your bliss and the money will come.” Then ask yourself, “Do I even know what my bliss is? Not my mild joy or diversionary fun but my unadulterated bliss?” Once you know that, you can follow it. And then, inevitably — although it may take a while — the money will follow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As the season of riddles and paradoxes kicks into high gear, I present you with a two-part quiz. Question 1: Since it has taken you your whole life to become the person you are today, is it reasonable to expect that you can transform yourself in a flash? Question 2: On the other hand, since you are more creative than you give yourself credit for, and are also in an astrological phase when your ability to change is greater than usual, is it reasonable to assume that you must remain utterly stuck in your old ways of doing things?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): So much to say and do. So little time. Is it OK if I pepper you with pithy hints? It’s the only way to fit everything in. Here goes. There’s strength in numbers, Libra. So travel in packs. Round up support and whip up group fervor. Always say “we,” not “I.” Add at least one new friend and bolster at least one old friendship. Think before you act, but always act instead of watching from afar. Avoid doing stupid things in smart ways. To court good luck, do charity work. To ensure that extra favors will come your way later this year, do extra favors now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Biblical book of Isaiah prophesies a future time of undreamed-of harmony and cooperation. “The wolf will romp with the lamb,” reads one translation. “Cow and bear will graze in the same pasture, their calves and cubs will grow up together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.” I have it on good astrological authority that you’re now eligible for a preview of this paradisiacal state. To receive your free introductory offer, you need only meet one condition. You must vow not to harm any living thing — not even a cockroach. Not even the person you love best.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You Sagittarians are famous for filling your cups too full. Sometimes this is cute. Sometimes it’s a problem for those who don’t like Cabernet Sauvignon sloshed on their handwoven Persian rugs. This month, however, I predict there will be little or no hell to pay for overflowing. So go ahead and transcend your containers, you beautiful exaggerators. Feel free to express yourself like a fire hose. Now enjoy a few gems from your fellow Sagittarius, the extravagant poet and painter William Blake. 1. “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” 2. “Exuberance is beauty.” 3. “The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.” 4. “You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Constant vigilance, my friend. That’s what I advise. Be attentive to details you sometimes gloss over. Wake up a little earlier and prepare for each encounter with greater forethought. Stare a little harder into the hearts of all those whose hidden motivations might detour your destiny. Monitor every communication for hints that all is not as it seems. Most importantly, guard against the possibility that you may be overlooking a gift or blessing that’s being offered to you in an indirect way.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are,” suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone or getting in the groove or being aligned with the great cosmic flow. How would you go about being the opposite of who you are, Aquarius? According to my reading of the omens, that will be an excellent question for you to muse about in the coming weeks. As you stretch yourself to embody the secret and previously unknown parts of you, I think you’ll be pleased with how much more thoroughly that allows you to be in sync with the rhythms of life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Internet addiction has risen to epidemic proportions in China. In early 2009, psychologists in Shandong province began offering an alleged cure that involved the use of electro-shock therapy. Parents of 3,000 young people paid Dr. Yang Yongxin and his team over $800 a month to hook their anesthetized teens up to machines that sent electricity through their brains to induce artificial seizures. After four months, the Chinese government intervened and halted the treatment, noting that there was no evidence it worked. This practice might sound comically barbaric to you, but I think it has a certain resemblance to the way you have been dealing with your own flaws and excesses: with inordinate force. In the coming weeks, I really think it’s important not to punish yourself for any reason, Pisces, even if it’s in a supposedly good cause. The lesson of the Chinese experiment is: not only is it overkill, it also doesn’t even have the desired effect.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

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CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, Revised and Expanded.

Change Your Diet, Change Your Life

If you’ve paid any attention to the media in the last few decades, you’ve probably come across the term “macrobiotics.” After all, Gwyneth Paltrow, Joe Pesci, and Madonna are ardent followers of the diet. As we’ve seen in the news, it’s become a popular natural remedy for fighting cancers. But what is macrobiotics really, and what’s all the hype about?

Simon Brown, author of the highly popular book Modern-Day Macrobiotics, doesn’t just brush over these answers in his new book Macrobiotics for Life, but explains the ins and outs of the macrobiotic lifestyle, taking an insightful look at everything from sleep cycles to offering daily recipes that have the power to truly change your mental state.

Why are people so excited about it? There is a laundry list of reasons why people are adhering to macrobiotic principles:

1.) To lose weight and look good

2.) For recovery from serious illnesses

3.) It tastes delicious

4.) For love of its philosophy and the connection to nature

5.) Ecological reasons

6.) It enhances focus and increases energy

7.) For insurance against later diseases

In its simplest form, the diet consists of foods low in fat and high in fiber, including a variety of vegetables, whole grains, and unfermented foods. While , to some, macrobiotics is simply a health-conscious relationship with food, Brown goes much further, preaching macrobiotics as a way of transforming every area of our lives, such as how weather affects our moods, and nutrition in children. Brown incorporates self-reflection, adjusting attitudes, and core beliefs as an essential part of the process of transformation. Brown studied under Michio Kushi, who has been credited with bringing the Macrobiotic Diet to the U.S. in the 1960’s. Brown takes a friendly and positive approach to the lifestyle, focusing on empowering students and clients rather than enslaving them to a strict and gruesome regimen. His celebrity clients include Boy George, Alicia Silverstone, and Michael Maloney.

Here are some interesting quick-facts from the book:

* Primitive foods such as sea vegetables, fermented foods, and shellfish may encourage us to think more about our primal desires for sex and survival.

* Modern processed soy foods such as soy milk, yogurt, cheese, spreads, and sausages may increase the risk of degenerative brain disease.

* Strong stimulants such as alcohol, caffeine, and sugar can open our heart centers chaotically.

* We can time how long food takes to travel through our digestive systems by swallowing whole kernels of corn.

* Gravity plays a part in digestion, and sitting up straight during and after a meal can improve digestion.

* Our skin is the biggest and heaviest organ we have.

* Chanting, singing, or talking can vibrate bones in our bodies that massage the surrounding tissue.

* Symptoms of being too ‘yin’ include feeling cold, being lethargic, feeling depressed, having clammy skin, and having a victim mentality. Symptoms of being too ‘yang’ include feeling hot or irritible, having dry mouth or itchy skin, being angry, stressed, and obsessing about details.

Brown urges readers to give the macrobiotic lifestyle a try. “We can easily go back to the way things were if a change doesn’t work out well for us.” Here at North Atlantic Books we attempt to keep followers in the know on leading innovations in health, heart, and mind and hope you find Macrobiotics for Life as inspiring as we have.

What is your experience or opinion on the macrobiotics diet? Are there aspects that you like and other parts that you disagree with?

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for July

I recently stumbled upon an article that stated, “[Rob Brezsny] has successfully changed the horoscope writing style from dry, banal to more creative and narrative driven.” I couldn’t agree more! Read on and see for yourself. Can you glean any truth from your Free Will Astrology forecast for July?

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
July
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Time to diversify your energy sources, Aries. It’s as if you’ve grown too dependent on oil — metaphorically speaking — and have neglected to develop relationships with wind turbines, solar panels, natural gas, and other mans of generating power. What if in the future — metaphorically speaking — oil becomes scarcer or wildly expensive? And what if, over the long haul, its byproducts degrade your environment? I suggest you start now to expand the variety of fuels you tap into. It’s a perfect moment to adjust your plans for your long-term energy needs.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your mirror may lie to you. A friend might neglect to share a crucial detail. Even pets and heroes and normally reliable suppliers might not be completely there for you. Fortunately, I expect that secondary sources will come through. Other people’s mirrors may reveal a clue you haven’t been able to find in your own. An acquaintance could step forward and do a convincing impersonation of a friend. And a previously overlooked or unknown connection might become your own personal wellspring. Moral of the story: If you’re willing to be flexible and forswear all impulses to blame, you won’t be deprived of what you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Having discovered I can read the minds of animals, I’ve started a new sideline as a ghostwriter. Here’s an excerpt from an interview I did with Prestige, a potbellied pig born under the sign of Gemini. Brezsny: What do you like best about being a potbellied pig? Prestige: I’m greedy but cute. I get to eat like a pig, yet not be victimized by the negative judgments people usually project onto pigs. Brezsny: Is there anything you’re worried about? Prestige: I need to make my caretaker understand that for the next few weeks we Geminis will need more than the usual amounts of food, love, presents, praise, attention, everything. Brezsny: Anything you’d like to say to my Gemini readers? Prestige: Don’t let anybody make you feel guilty for wanting what you want.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The ancient Chinese sage Lao Tse said, “People of the highest caliber, upon hearing about Taoism, follow it and practice it immediately. People of average caliber, hearing about Taoism, reflect for a while and then experiment. People of the lowest caliber, hearing about Taoism, let out a big laugh.” Now substitute the words “your splashy new ideas” for “Taoism” in Lao Tse’s quote and you’ll have your horoscope for this month, Cancerian. For added punch, remember what he said in another context: “No idea can be considered valuable until a thousand people have laughed at it.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Nietzsche’s dictum might be useful for you to keep in mind right now, Leo: “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.” Since I’m very sure that the turbulent waters through which you’re navigating will not kill you, I’m looking forward to all the ways this journey will upgrade your confidence and enhance your power. But there’s more to be gained, beyond what Nietzsche formulated. It’s also true that if it doesn’t kill you (which it won’t), it will make you wilder and kinder and smarter and more beautiful.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meet a dark, secretive stranger who’ll play you like a violin. Nor will you be lured to the warehouse district after midnight to pick up the “missing stuff.” And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cult that’s conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012. No, Virgo. Your fate is far more mundane than that. In fact, it’s more likely that you will soon meet a bright, forthright stranger who will play you like an accordion. You will be drawn to a convenient location at midday to pick up the “missing stuff.” And you will be invited to become part of a group that has the potential to play a significant role in your quest for meaning in the coming years.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For years, I’ve remembered most of my dreams every night, so I’m good at spotting trends. And one of the themes that has arisen recently involves you Libras. Last week, I dreamed that three of my Libra friends were pole vaulting at the Olympics. Four nights ago, I dreamed that my two favorite Libran astrologers were rappelling up a skyscraper. Last night, I dreamed that four Libran celebrities — Mahatma Gandhi, Gwen Stefani, Sacha Baron Cohen (a.k.a. Borat), and Kate Winslet — climbed a gold ladder to a cafe on a cloud where they drank magic coffee that made wings sprout on their backs. So what’s going on? Is my subconscious telling me that it’s prime time for you to raise your expectations and upgrade your goals? Do my dreams mean you should rise above the conventional wisdom and rededicate yourself to your loftiest ambitions? What do you think?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Spiritual epiphany alert! Uncanny revelations imminent! Hope you don’t mind being awoken in the middle of your regularly scheduled life by a special delivery from the Great Beyond. Yes, my cute little bundle of rumbling feelings and psychic sensitivities: It doesn’t matter if you’re a true believer or an unrepentant infidel — you will soon be invited to have one of your logical certainties torn out by the roots and replaced with a throbbing vision of cosmic whoopee. Brace yourself for the most pungent fun you’ve had since your last mudwrestle with the angel.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): While appearing on the TV show “I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here,” ex-pro basketball player John Salley gave some advice I’d like to pass along. “When you see crazy coming your way,” he philosophized, “you should cross the street.” I do think crazy will be headed in your direction sometime soon, Sagittarius, and the best response you can make is to avoid it altogether, preferably in a way that it doesn’t notice you. That’s right: Don’t shout at crazy, don’t bolt away ostentatiously, and certainly don’t run up and give crazy a big hug. There are far better ways for you to gather in your fair share of intriguing mystery; I’d hate to see you get bogged down in a useless, inferior version of it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Everyone wants an extra piece of you these days, and they don’t necessarily care about how it will affect you. So beware of emotional manipulation, subliminal seduction, and the temptation to believe in impossible promises. To make matters more extreme, I suspect you may be secretly pleased that everyone wants an extra piece of you — and might be tempted to conspire in your own dismantling. Let me propose a compromise. How about letting three trustworthy people — no more — take an extra piece of you? And be very certain that they have enough self-control to know when to stop taking.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re almost never one brick short of a load. Know what I’m saying? Your elevator almost always goes all the way to the top floor. Rarely, if ever, do I have to warn you against playing with a deck of 51 cards. So I hope you don’t be offended when I say that it’s time to find that missing brick and service your elevator and buy a new deck. In other words, you’re due for your 40,000 mile check-up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): magic  (ma’ jik), n. 1. A mysterious event or process that seemingly refutes the known laws of science. 2. A willed transformation of one’s own state of mind. 3. A surprising triumph that exceeds all expectations. 4. Something that works, though no one understands why. 5. The impossible becoming possible. 6. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” (Arthur C. Clarke.) 7. A quality predominant in the lives of Pisceans during the period July 1 through July 20, 2009.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s “Free Will Astrology.”

CLICK HERE to subscribe to Rob Brezsny’s newsletter.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology for June 2009

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
June
© Copyright 2009  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): While reading a crime report in the online version of Northern California’s Arcata Eye newspaper, I came across this entry: “A dreadlocked man attacked a lamp post on the Plaza with his mighty fists, punching it while yelling and, in the memorable description of a witness, ‘fighting amongst himself.’” I immediately thought of you, Aries. According to my analysis of the omens, you’ve been fighting amongst yourself with — how shall I say this? — crafty ferocity. I’d be ecstatic if I could convince you to call a truce, begin peace talks, and maybe even begin practicing some crafty tenderness toward yourself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you Tauruses are at your best, you get into a groove but not into a rut — humming along with creative efficiency, not just going through the motions or repeating the same old tired shticks. When you’re at the top of your game, it’s because you’ve surrounded yourself with stimuli that make you feel peaceful and comfortable. Other people may work well under pressure and accomplish most when they’re driven by stress, but you usually need to be at ease in order to access your deep brilliance. From what I can tell, everything I just said is a description of what will be happening in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Research shows that if a stranger gazes at you for at least 8.2 seconds, he or she is definitely interested in you. If, on the other hand, the look lasts 4.5 seconds or less, there’s no attraction. I’m guessing that the percentage of long scrutinies you receive in the coming weeks will be higher than usual. Your raw charisma levels will be up, as will your ability to make strong first impressions. How do you plan to exploit the advantages this will give you, Gemini? According to my projections, it’ll be a good time to meet some allies of the future.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): One of the tastiest frogs in the world is at risk of dying out as a species. The “mountain chicken” frog, once a fixture on the chain of Caribbean islands known as Montserrat, has become endangered through loss of habitat, disease, and over-hunting by humans. In response to the crisis, conservationists have airlifted a number of survivors to new homes, attempting to save their kind from extinction. I think it’s time for you to arrange a comparable intervention of your own, Cancerian. A sweet and delicious part of you or your world is not exactly thriving, and needs some strenuous help and care.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A Florida woman, upset that her local McDonald’s had run out of Chicken McNuggets, phoned the 911 emergency service line for help. In an unrelated incident, a Florida man took the same action when Burger King told him it had no lemonade to sell him. I recommend that you not indulge in similar overreactions in the coming weeks, Leo. The Drama Queen or Drama King archetype is threatening to possess you, and I suspect you’ll have to act forcefully to keep it away. If you’re successful, you’ll be visited by a far more congenial archetype — the Social Butterfly. And that would prove to be amusing and productive.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Most of you Virgos have built-in safeguards that ensure you won’t abuse power. That’s why I feel uninhibited about advising you to grab all the new authority and influence you can get in the next few weeks. It’s one of those phases in your astrological cycle when you’re more likely to be in line for promotions, new privileges, and increased clout. I hope you won’t be shy. You may have to be uncharacteristically aggressive as you claim your rightful potency and rewards.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the coming days, the surprise and delight quotient will be way up. I bet you’ll be more prone than usual to uttering exclamations.  There may also be a confounding “aha!” and a mind-wobbling “What the frack?!” mixed in there, although I think the emphasis will be on developments that educate and entertain you. Since you will probably be ushered in the direction of the frontier, I think you should find new ways to express your amazement. Instead of cliches like “Jesus H. Christ!” or “Holy crap!”, why not try something fresh, like the following: “Great Odin’s raven!” . . . “Radical lymphocytes!” . . . “Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!” . . . “Frosty heat waves!” . . . “Panoramic serpentine.” Any other ideas?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): As I was driving out in the country, I spied a curious statement written in large crooked letters on a homemade sign: “I have seen the truth and it doesn’t make sense.” I’m guessing you might feel that way yourself right now, Scorpio. You have summoned the courage to see the deeper reality beneath the official story, but that has made you more confused than you were when you only possessed a smattering of iffy facts. So you’re smarter and better informed, but are nonetheless feeling less secure. My advice: Don’t flee back into the fake comfort of comfy delusions. If you can maintain your poise in the face of the raging ambiguity, you will ultimately be rewarded with a big dose of cathartic clarity.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,” said Indian philosopher Nisargadatta Maharaj. “Love is knowing I am everything. And between the two my life moves.” According to my calculations, Sagittarius, you’ll be more on the “knowing you are everything” side of the polarity for the next few weeks. That’s because a flood is imminent. I expect you’ll be on the receiving end of a massive outreach from the universe — an influx of invitations, inquiries, and offers to make connection. You should also be prepared for the dizzying pleasure that comes from seeing how profoundly interlinked and interdependent you are.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): This is my pledge to you, Capricorn: I promise to use all my otherworldly connections to get your karmic debt reduced in the next few weeks. In return, I ask that you make these pledges to me: You promise not to be a self-pitying martyr or a cranky beast of burden or a willing victim of rank manipulation. You agree not to just follow sloppy orders or passively capitulate as some bad guy with a nice smile tries to lower your standards. And finally, you swear to feed a really healthy desire that will ultimately help give your other desires more integrity and nobility.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “We all have a blind spot in love,” says astrologer Jessica Shepherd at moonkissed.com. “Never simple to figure out and even harder to see head on, our blind spot is as unique and complexly layered as we are.” But it’s not a hopeless cause, I would add. In fact, you may ultimately be able to discern the contours of your special ignorance about romance; you may find a way to fix the unconscious glitch that has undermined your quest for meaningful intimacy. How should you proceed? Well, you will need skillful ingenuity, a willingness to gaze upon a flustering truth about yourself, and maybe a little miraculous grace. And now here’s the very good news, Aquarius: It so happens that all these things are available to you right now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s a ripe time to revise and rework your past, Pisces. I’ll trust you to make the ultimate determination about how best to do that, but here are some possibilities. 1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace. 2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected. 3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good. 4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.

Homework: What are the five conditions you’d need in your world in order to feel you were living in utopia?  Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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